Monday, December 29, 2008

The Best Dishes

Last night I was cleaning up dishes from my daughter's birthday party. She turned 1 and had a big party with her cousins, aunts and uncles, nana and papa. My father in law is a pastor, so we had a time where he shared a few Bible verses and prayed a prayer of dedication and blessing over her with all her family present. Then we ate dinner, played, sang, opened presents.... Liliana had so much fun!

Cleaning up these dishes were the best dishes of my life! If someone would have told me last year at this time that I would be throwing a party for my baby girl I would have smiled politely, but been rolling my eyes in my head. Yet, God completely took me off guard and surprised me with this gift.

These past 6 months of my life have been so amazing. I wrote in my journal the other day that Liliana is "God's joy incarnate in my life." She makes me laugh and smile and gives me joy everyday. I think having to wait so long to be a mom has made me want to soak up every moment with her.

I can't wait to do birthday dishes next year and all the ones to follow. Those are the best kind of dishes ever!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

ABC's

Yesterday Chris had the idea that he wanted to get his mom a mystery book for Christmas. All of our shopping has been done for awhile b/c I am not into fighting big crowds at the store right before the holidays. But he wanted to do this for his mom, so we decided to swing by Borders, at the mall, on the way home.

Ok, seriously I have never seen such craziness in a parking lot. Cars were lined up at each of the exits getting to the main roads, almost grid lock in nature. We managed to get into the parking lot just as some guy was leaving and we parked. Chris ran in to get the book and I waited in the car with Liliana who was sound asleep. After about a half hour passed by I called him to see what was up. He was in line. I was hungry and when I get hungry I get super cranky. I started in... "Why did you have to wait til now to think of getting your mom a book, blah blah.. " After we hung up I called about a minute later to say sorry.

Finally Chris gets back to the car. I know it is going to take us at least 15 minutes or more to get out of the parking lot b/c I have been watching cars inch along. I am so hungry. Did I mention I had to pee really badly too? I also had this feeling of closterphobia- we were in this parking lot and there is no way to get out to the main roads. Some punk teenage kid would not let us merge to his lane, so Chris ends up blocking the incoming traffic. Liliana is up at this point. I am sure she is soaking wet, but she is thankfully just playing in the back seat with her teddy bear.

I am in this moment where I think, I have had such a fun day and I do not want to let this crowded parking lot ruin it. So I said. " Okay Chris, how can we make the most of this?"
He suggested putting on some Christmas tunes. I turned the station and it was some annoying re-mix of a Christmas song and it was not cutting it.
-This isn't working.
- Okay, let's go through the alphabet and think of songs that start with that letter.

So he belts out some "A" song.

Next came "B" and I started singing "Beat It" by Michael Jackson. At that point the mood changed entirely. We both started laughing and on went the game. Liliana loves music, so she would grunt in the back seat when it was a particularly fun song. It took 15 + minutes to get out of the parking lot, but it went by so fast. By the time we hit the ramp for the highway Chris was humming Zooropa by U2. We had such a fun time and it was the perfect ending to our day out .

Thursday, December 18, 2008

$

My first year of marriage Chris and I were in YWAM, which meant we had very little income. On one hand, I remember each month having to pray for what we needed and at times it was quite stressful. Yet on the other hand, that first year of marriage, we traveled to New Zealand for a 2.5 week honeymoon, to Austria (which was a childhood dream for Chris), Germany, France, Guatemala, Mexico and all over the USA. Each trip came from unsolicited, totally random people wanting to get us to these places. I remember on one of our plane rides thinking- this is what rich people do and look at us! We felt rich in experiences, adventure, travel and FAITH.

So fast forward to year 8 of marriage. We are in this weird transitional spot of church planting in Madison, yet still being in St. Louis due to some legal issues with our adoption. Chris got a job at St. Louis Bread Co. and I am watching kids part time until we move. We are back in this financial season of having to count each dollar and trust God in ways we haven't had to do in years. I haven't exactly been thrilled with having such a high accountability level with our finances, yet God is meeting us and I know He is in it. I remember after I left YWAM I wanted to always know that God was my source and that I need to depend on Him, but I did NOT want to go back to those intense times of dependency. And yet, I don't know why. In those intense times of dependency, God shows up.

I have been starting to write down our provision story for this year and it's so encouraging. We both got to travel to Rwanda this past spring, which was Chris' first time in Africa and a desire of his for years. We had several financial gifts for our adoption, both small & large, that covered all our expenses. I remember opening a card from a new lady at church and I didn't even know her name. In it was $10 and I was so touched. She had no idea what that $10 was going to do when added with the other gifts. Another day I went to the mail box and there was a check for $1000 from a couple I had never even met before! We received an ABUNDANCE for Liliana in gifts. We also have received some generous and very random donations towards our church planting efforts. On and on the list goes. It has been a year of intense dependency in many ways, but to that same measure God has shown up.

So, it makes me think..maybe this season isn't so bad after all. It's been a great reminder for me that God truly is my source and when it comes down to it I don't think I would want it any other way. Year 1 of marriage was an incredible faith building time and year 8 is as well. These faith walks are scary at times, but so worth it!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Pj's and Purple Robe Day

Yesterday was a great day. I stayed in my pj's and fuzzy purple robe the entire day and just spent time connecting with Jesus. No housework, errands, cooking- just down time & playing with Liliana, which is FUN. Chris brought home sandwiches and treats for a late lunch/early dinner and we ended the day watching Prince Caspian.

When I was in high school one of my older sisters challenged me to take seriously the thought of having a "sabbath" each week- a day off where I don't do anything but just rest and connect with God in a deeper way. I took her up on the challenge and set aside a day where I didn't do any homework, even if I had a test the next day, and made sure I was not scheduled at work. It became a habit that stuck with me into my adult years and it is one of my life lines. I'm actually kind of a sabbath nazi and will do whatever I can to guard this time. I know that it refreshes me and makes me able to give to others during the week; it is what keeps me from burning out.

I feel like this mini transformation takes place on that day. I can have a FULL week and by the end feel ready to just collapse. But I know my sabbath is there to meet me and after that day is over, I can take on the world again. It's one of those cool things God designed when He created us and I am so thankful for it.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Biological Connections

Today I sat down to write a letter and send some pictures to Liliana's "biological connections". This might seem weird to some people, but Chris and I want to honor her biological roots as much as we can. We know that while we are totally excited to see her take her first steps and hear her say "dada" and "mama" to us, there are 2 other people who aren't able to experience this. So, as much as we can, we try to send photos or videos just to reaffirm that they indeed did make a loving choice for this little girl.

So, today's letter was to Daniel, who is actually in prison. A few months ago he wrote a letter to Liliana. He told her that he knows he has made bad choices in his life, but the one good choice he made was to give her a home and a family that he couldn't give her himself. He did NOT want her to grow up like he did and he knew he couldn't offer her what she needed from behind bars. He wanted her to know that he did this out of love for her and that he will always love her.

Now I have to admit, if I met this guy on the street somewhere, I would probably be scared, checking my purse every 5 seconds, walking briskly, and praying in tongues under my breath. But instead, through Liliana, I can have compassion, pray for him and write encouraging letters.

A few weeks before we found out about Liliana, I was stuck on this one verse in the Bible from the book of Matthew. It says,
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me....whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

These verses kept replaying over and over in my mind and I wanted to see how I could apply them in my life. I believe that there's an aspect of Jesus in each category and so I didn't want to miss a chance to experience Him in new ways. I could connect with each category, except the prisoner one. I don't really know people in prison and frankly this was the category with the most judgments and misconceptions. So, lo and behold comes Liliana and she happens to be connected biologically to someone in this category.

I can say that I am seeing a side of Jesus through Daniel that I hadn't seen before our paths crossed. I am seeing that under his tough gang exterior is a tender hearted guy created in the image of God. He goes by his gang name, not Daniel, but every letter I write is intentionally addressed "Daniel". Daniel was a man of God who stood up against what everyone else was doing because of his devotion to God. I just hope one day that this Daniel can do the same. But for now, I just hope he likes the cute pictures he'll be getting in the mail. :-)

Monday, December 8, 2008

2 Greeks & J

One of my cousins, Bessy, is a Greek, hip version of Martha Stewart. She loves to cook, entertain and make things look so special. She used to own a little tea room where I worked on Saturdays with another girl, Julie. Julie grew up in a small town, her family ate 100% organic foods, and she just has a fun and simple approach to life.

Well, now the 3 of us are moms, so we decided to get together twice a month to hang out, cook our favorite recipes and let the kids play. Bessy makes a yummy Greek soup or entree for us to share at lunch and each time Julie and I rotate preparing some sort of healthy dessert or snack that we can take home to our husbands.

I love it! Our 5 kids (all within the age range of 6 months- 2.5 years old) have a blast playing at Bessy's. She has every toy known to man and it brings her such joy to share her goods with the little ones. Julie is teaching me so much about organic cooking and totally broadening my horizons. I used to go to Whole Foods and walk in the bulk bin aisle seeing items like spelt flour, but never being bold enough to get some and try a new recipe. That has changed. I have been experimenting like crazy, buying things I never have before and having so much fun trying new dishes.

Most of all, it's fun hanging out and just sharing about life.
I am so thankful to be in a "mom" season of life now and just want to soak up all I can.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Wish Lists

So, it's the time of year when the 5 Christmas lists start rolling out at the Yochum household.
They work on their lists and then present them to their dad so that he can read them out loud at the dinner table.

This year's lists included:

Ashley's list, not including the St. Bernard dog, came up to about $2000.

Amanda only had 4 items on her list; one of them was for her dad to quit smoking

Alyssa pretty much wants money so she can go shopping and also really wants a hot pink digital camera. (do they make hot pink cameras??)

Alex wrote as small as he could to fill up an entire page. His items ranged from a python to a bowling ball, but the main thing he wants is a hunting license
(never mind that you need to be a certain age, take a safety class and have a gun besides a bb gun to hunt)

And besides basically copying what Alex had on his list, Austin also wants a personal refrigerator and freezer for his own snacks.

I just love seeing the boldness when kids create their wish lists. The sky is the limit in their minds. Ashley knows there's no way she is going to get even half of her desired gifts, but that doesn't keep her from asking.
Austin asked for his own personal fridge and freezer last year- he didn't get it, so it is on the list again for this year. His desires haven't changed and he is going to put it down once again and let his desires be known.

It makes me think of my approach in asking for things from God. Sometimes I don't ask for things because I want to "be content". But seeing these wish lists makes me think- Ask for it all- why not? If it's not in my best interest God isn't going to give it to me. But I bet He gets joy out of me feeling free to ask, just like I crack up when I read some of the stuff on the kids' lists.

In my 20's I had the boldness to ask for the world and really believed it could be mine. To be honest almost all of the things on my "wish list" with God were answered. Then I somehow just grew "content" and have stopped asking for things. Funny how that content thing can be positive on one hand and then negative on another hand.

So I think it's time I make a new list and see what God might have for this next season of life.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Adoption..

Adoption requires a ton of paperwork and one of the requirements is your social worker making sure your house is safe according to state standards. I remember when we first got our list of home stuff we had to have. On the list was a fire extinguisher. We didn't have one, so we made a trip to Home Depot to pick one up. I remember thinking- how many couples having a baby are stocked up with a fire extinguisher? Diapers, burp cloths, but probably not that.

The day our social worker was coming out to update our home study, I thought I would check the list more closely to make sure I hadn't missed anything. One of the things listed was an emergency fire escape plan. Uh... not something Chris and I regularly discuss at dinner. So, I get out a piece of paper and best I can map out the floor plan of our house, draw arrows indicating what doors we would use to exit and make the cheesiest fire plan you ever saw. When the social worker came to that question, I handed her my lovely chicken scratch piece of paper. We both knew it was ridiculous as all get out, but she still had to ask me. Then she asked if Chris and I have practiced our emergency plan. I looked at her and didn't want to lie, but come on... do you really think we pretended to have a fire and enacted a practice session? Our social worker was very sweet and she knew it was dumb, but she said, "Let's go ahead and practice it together, so I can say you did it". At that point of our meeting Chris was in the back room copying drivers licenses or something legal like that, so I yell back "Chris, we're pretending there's a fire so we can practice our escape plan." So the 3 of us proceeded to fake yell & act scared that there was a fire and go to the door while I pretended to call 911. We got a good laugh out of it and the state of TX can legally endorse us as worthy to raise a child.

I read a stat that 1/3 of Americans have considered adoption, but only 2% ever follow through. That makes me so sad.

I think there's all sorts of reasons why- too much paperwork, too much money, not sure how I would bond with a child I didn't give birth to, etc...
Sure there's all those issues, but it's worth every piece of paper we had to fill out and I would buy a fire extinguisher for each room if I had to. I remember holding my baby girl for her first overnight stay with us and with tears in my eyes I told her how much I loved her and how she was worth every penny we had to spend and even more. I watch her now in her new environment- surrounded by people who love her so much- and think of what her life would be like otherwise. It truly is an amazing story of God's love and redemption.

One of our dreams for our new church in Madison is that we could be a place that inspires people to care for orphans and at risk kids. I used to feel shy about saying that, but I don't anymore. It has become a passion of mine. I heard of a small church in a rural area of Texas that was filled with a bunch of folks that had a heart for orphans. They found a small orphanage and as a church committed to find a home for each of the 30 kids in the place. They emptied the orphanage!! Some opened their homes, others their pocketbooks and together they gave these kids families.

I dream of Madison Vineyard being a place where dozens of children and babies find forever homes, where we can raise thousands of dollars to send to organizations like Love 146 who care for at risk kids involved with the sex slave trade, where people get inspired to dedicate their lives to be advocates for orphans in the world.

I am so thankful for our adoption journey and believe this is just the beginning of what God has in store for us and others.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Grocery Store Snapshot


So, part of my nanny duties is a weekly trip to the grocery store- buying food for 5 kids and their dad is quite an event. Usually 2 or 3 kids like to go with me; on occasion all 5 like to come.
(Yeah, I let 5 kids go grocery shopping with me- I have a soft spot when it comes to these kids.)

This past week just the 2 boys went with me. We had to run some errands in a different area of town, so we ended up going to a different grocery store than normal. It was my first time to ever take them there. As we pulled up they both said they remembered going here with their mom. Once we got inside they said they totally remembered it and were so excited. I can't tell you what joy this brought me to hear them say this. Anytime they mention memories with their mom I want to capitalize on the moment.

Austin just celebrated his 5th birthday when his mom started her downward spiral before her death. Alex was 6. When I think about these little guys I know that they are not going to have many memories of their mom. In fact any time I can help preserve a memory, I want to do so.

The longer I live, the less and less I remember my own mom. I have what I call "snapshot" memories of her. I can remember different scenes in my mind, almost like a mental photo, of times we spent together. Usually they are just ordinary life memories, like baking homemade bread with her and getting my own little mini loaf or going to get treats after she would get her hair done. And oddly enough, I even have my own grocery store memory of my mom from when I was 5.

As a child I was extremely shy and super sensitive. One day we went to the grocery store and there was a lady at the front of the store with long black hair that was teased out. She looked like a witch to me. By the time I hit the produce aisle I was in tears because I thought this lady was really a witch. My mom tried to comfort me and assure me that this lady was not a witch. She told me that she had a little boy next to her and that she was a mommy too. I didn't buy it.

Well, my mom was not going to let me get away with thinking this lady was a witch. So she told me that I had to go over to the lady and say hello. It must have been quite a sight for an onlooker, but my mom took my hand and we walked over the lady and said hi. (keep in mind I had not stopped crying this entire time) Then my mom made some nice comment about how cute her son was so that we did not look like complete idiots and then I remember the lady smiling at me. We then excused ourselves and made our way back to the produce aisle.

My mom said that we can't always tell what a person is like on the inside by looking at their outside and now we could see that this lady was not a witch, but was actually a nice mommy.

I may have only had 11 years with my mom, but when I stop to reflect on my mental snapshots, I realize that she deposited so much love and character development in me.

I pray for lots of mental snapshots for Austin, Alex, Alyssa, Amanda, and Ashley, too.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Seasons

There's a segment of the Bible that I often find myself going back to re-read and reflect on.
It's from Ecclesiastes 3 and this is what it says:
A Time for Everything
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

...He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Life is full of a variety of seasons- some we like to linger in and soak up, others we await the passing of- yet in all the seasons God has the ability to make it beautiful.
I often look at this poetic reflection found in the Bible and consider my own season. I find there is almost this "permission" to experience a wide array of emotions- really, there is "a time to give up" and say enough is enough, or"a time to dance" around your house like a crazy person because you are so elated. (Liliana laughs at Mommy when I do that- she thinks I am pretty funny when I sing tunes and dance around the kitchen).

Life isn't neat. In one day alone I can experience 10 different emotions. But that's the fun of life. How boring to always be in the same exact season day in and day out. I am all for variety and enjoying the seasons before me.

Friday, November 7, 2008

World Changers

I am a firm believer that each one of us can be agents of change in the world. One of my favorite things is seeing people tap in to the deep desires of their hearts and then realizing that God can actually use them to change the world.

World changers come in all fashions- not just people like Martin Luther King, Jr. or Bono. They are ordinary people like Mike and Pam.

Mike & Pam are on part time staff at our church.
What do they do you ask.. they are our cleaning folks. Each week they vacuum, clean toilets and the like to make our church sparkle.

M & P have 2 grown kids and are grandparents. Mike grew up in the foster care system and was eventually adopted. He always had a heart to "give back", but for whatever reason never felt like he could be used in this way. Recently God was tugging on his heart to re visit this long time dream. So, he did. About 2 months ago M & P showed up with this newborn little baby girl in their arms. They have been her foster parents as this little girl's biological parents try to go through rehab and see if they can pull things together to parent. Pam is up for middle of the night feedings, burpings, diaper changes. They pray and care for this little baby, hoping to deposit love into her heart during this vulnerable time in her life. I talked to Mike and he just started crying as he said he couldn't believe God would trust them and use them as foster parents.

I love it! God is not just interested in empowering young people to do great things for Him. He wants to use everyone, no matter what season of life- children, elderly, middle aged, teenaged.
He wants to use us in our everyday lives to be world changers.

Oh, for more M & P s in the world!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

What about the church?

Several years ago Chris and I attended a meeting for youth pastors. The speaker said one line that has stuck with me for years... "Your goal as a youth pastor is not for your students to keep their pants up until they graduate; your goal is to help your students learn to love the church. If they love the church then when they graduate and get out on their own, they will have ownership in the church and want to make it part of their adult life".

I've often thought -What does it mean to love the church? Do I love the church?
At times in my life going to church was simply a choice I made because it was the "right" thing to do. Other times I couldn't wait to go to church because there was something significant going on in my life and I really wanted to share my latest cool news or get prayer for my current struggle.

The past few weeks on facebook, the subject of church has come up with various people. It seems as though going to church has not been life giving at all. What they are experiencing is very real and very discouraging.

Chris & I are getting ready to plant a new church in Madison, WI in 2009. We have a team of people selling homes, quitting good jobs & leaving family and security to help us on this quest. We are hoping to have a church that can draw in those who are currently disconnected from a faith community.

So, I thought it would be interesting to see if we could generate some discussion through this blog on the subject of church. What are you looking for/hoping for from your church experience? How has your recent season of church been life giving or life draining? If you had advice to pass on to our church planting team, what would it be?

Let the comments flow...

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Ah.. Texas

So, I have this lively, outgoing daughter named Liliana. We adopted her when she was 6 months old. Most people have 9 months to prepare to be parents- we had 3.5 weeks. Wow, just even writing that sentence makes me tired- did that really happen?

She was born in Texas and my husband is quite happy about that. For those of you who have never lived in TX, let me just say a few words about TX culture. Texans are VERY proud of their state, to the point that they make nick knacks in the shape of their state. You can find TX coasters, welcome mats, baking pans, toothpick holders, (need I go on) and you can't drive a mile without seeing a TX flag flying somewhere. I grew up in Missouri and to this day I have never eaten a cake in the shape of my state nor would dream of having something of the sort in my house.

TX does have good things to offer and one of which is Fatherheart Maternity home. It's a group of dedicated people who provide a safe place for girls who have an unexpected pregnancy, facing all sorts of scary life decisions. This was the place that connected us with our baby girl.

So bring on the TX garb- I'll take the TX shaped bibs, bottles, blankets and country lullabies. I'm proud to be a TX girl's mama.

Nanny 911

Last fall I became a nanny. Yeah, I know that's usually something you do in college as a part time job but these circumstances were different...

We have this amazing family at our church Steve & Christina and their 5 beautiful kids. Christina had various types of cancers that she battled for almost 7 years. She beat all sorts of odds. Her last 2 pregnancies the doctors told her that if she did not abort she would die, along with the babies. She couldn't do it and took the risk. Today Alex and Austin are healthy, smart, darling boys.

Anyway, after a tenacious fight, Christina died on Sept. 1, 2008. It was labor day weekend- she died on a Saturday and the next day her family showed up at church. I was the preschool/K teacher that day and Alex & Austin were in my class. As we made animals out of Play-doh, they shared how their mom stopped breathing and their dad was yelling her name as she was in his arms in their big bed. It was everything in me not to bust out crying in the middle of class. When I was 11, the same scenerio took place at my house. It was Labor Day weekend and my mom was in my dad's arms in their big bed as he was yelling her name because she stopped breathing. In the days following I found out Steve needed a nanny to help with the kids (ages 5, 6, 9, 10, 12) after school, so I stepped up to the plate. It was one of those moments in life where you know your past experiences are about to be used in ways you never dreamed.

I was thrust into a very intense season of life. My first several months there I would come home and my sweet husband Chris would patiently listen to me, help me process all that was going on with this family and pray lots and lots. So many questions, tears, sadness. I would talk to my friend Rayleen from Canada. She never met the family, but she would just cry and pray for them all the time. It's hard to believe it's been over a year now that Christina has been gone. (yeah, how weird is it that we have the same name??) I've learned so much from this family and their faith. More on that for future posts...

Tina enters the 21 century

So I am finally entering into the 21 century. One day earlier this year I had a TON of e-mails and I couldn't figure out why. Later that day my husband told me that it was time I used facebook, so he set up an account for me and I had all those e-mails from people seeing my account. Thus Tina's journey of technology began. I was resistant at first, but it actually has been good connecting with old friends and seeing their new seasons of life.

Next came texting. The thought of texting reminded me of my days as a youth leader and I wasn't really too keen on trying to act like a teenager. We got a new phone plan with texting included and I have to admit- I really like it.

So, now I enter the world of blogs. I was actually inspired to do this by a few friends- one of whom is Robin. She is one of my old YWAM friends who just happens to be an English major. I love Robin's love for writing and always enjoyed reading what she had to say, so I checked out her blog. If Robin can do it, so can I.

I am looking forward to sharing thoughts and learning from others. One of my favorite questions to ask people is "What is God teaching you or doing in your life these days?" I love hearing people's answers to that question. In fact I had a friend confess to me that anytime I invited her over to my house she would practice what she was going to say b/c she knew that question was guaranteed to come up.
(now that I think of it, she hasn't been over in awhile...)